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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?